Choosing Kindness, Even Then

Salam Jumaat everyone, 

Yesterday, someone reminded me of something I didn’t realize I needed to hear "be a good person, no matter who you’re dealing with". It sounded simple, almost too familiar. But somehow, it stayed with me longer than I expected. Because the truth is, it’s not always easy.

There are moments when people misunderstand you, when words cut deeper than they should, when actions leave quiet bruises you carry in silence. In those moments, it feels natural to harden, to protect yourself by becoming distant, or even to respond with the same hurt you were given. But yesterday, I was reminded that I don’t have to become what hurt me.

I can still choose softness..

And maybe that’s not weakness at all. Maybe it’s something much stronger.

I think about how forgiveness and gentleness were part of the way Prophet Muhammad ﷺ lived. He faced more hurt, rejection, and cruelty than most of us ever will, yet he chose mercy again and again. There’s a hadith where the Prophet ﷺ said:

لَيْسَ الشَّدِيدُ بِالصُّرَعَةِ، إِنَّمَا الشَّدِيدُ الَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ الْغَضَبِ

"The strong person is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who controls himself when angry."

Sahih al-Bukhari (no. 6114) and Sahih Muslim (no. 2609)

And another gentle reminder:

مَنْ لَا يَرْحَمُ لَا يُرْحَمُ

"Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy."

Sahih al-Bukhari (no. 7376) and Sahih Muslim (no. 2318)

I find something deeply comforting in that. The idea that goodness isn’t wasted, that choosing kindness, even when it’s difficult, has a quiet way of transforming things, even if not immediately. Life doesn’t stop just because someone hurts you. The days keep moving, and somehow, so do you. And maybe the real question is not what others do to you, but what you choose to carry forward from it.

I’ve been learning that disappointment will come, and yes, time softens things slowly. But every small moment of bitterness I hold onto, every unkind reaction I allow to grow, it doesn’t just pass through me. It stays. It becomes part of me. And I don’t want that.

I don’t want a heart that feels heavy with resentment, even if it feels justified. I don’t want to lose my sense of gentleness just because the world can be harsh sometimes.

So maybe this is my quiet promise to myself:

To forgive, even if it takes time.
To stay soft, even when it’s hard.
To choose kindness, even when it isn’t returned.

Not because people always deserve it, but because I want to protect something within me that is still pure, still hopeful, still at peace. Because in the end, I’m the one who lives with my heart.

And I want it to be a place where mercy still lives..

Love, Aishah Anwar.